Conversations with a House Maid

I always wish for an interesting companion on my plane rides!  What I have come to realise is that everyone has at least one interesting story to tell. What is required is an ability to discover it. 

I find myself sitting next to a Sri Lankan lady who is on her way to Saudi Arabia to be a housemaid.  I notice her nervousness and know this is her first time on an airplane when she asks me to help her with her seatbelt and for help opening the overhead compartment.

We start to chat.  She has just said goodbye to her two young children of 8 and 9 and her husband who she will not see for the next 2 years.  She is visibly upset and is grateful to chat. 

She tells me about her life.  Her husband is a day labourer who brings home about $5 a day when he can find work.  They live a hand to mouth existence and most of this money goes on food, the rest to pay for utilities.  She tells me they are lucky to have a house but the roof leaks when it rains and there is no money for costly repairs such as this. 

She has many friends who have travelled as house maids before.  She has heard all the stories and is aware of the risks but made the decision to make this journey in search of a better life for her family. 

She has just been through 2 weeks of intensive training.  This is a new initiative from the current Sri Lankan President and she says it is one of the best things introduced for prospective travellers to the middle east.

They are taught the language, how to cook, how to behave, how to dress, how to serve up the food and what to expect.  They are taught practicalities such as opening up a bank account here in Sri Lanka, so they have somewhere to send their savings.  She tells me that half her salary will go to her husband and her children while the rest is put aside for herself, ensuring she has something to come back to.  She tells me how the maids who went in the early days sent all their money back to their spouses and came back to find their spouses had taken up with other women and their money had all been spent.

She tells me she will make $200 a month.  Not a lot of money for the work she will be expected to do and the hours she will have to work.  In Saudi Arabia you are not allowed to leave the house you are working in.  She will be a virtual prisoner in a strangers house for 2 years!  She is willing to risk it in the hope she can provide more opportunities for her children.

She knows the risks.  In the past there have been instances when house maids came back in a coffin.  Her own mother who worked in Kuwait  was once hit on the head by her employer.  The blow was so severe her head split open and she was rushed to hospital where she was forced to lie about her injuries.  Her mother pleaded with her to not make this journey.  This lady is travelling to a place where she could lose her hands if she were to be caught stealing but it is also a place where she has more opportunity than the land of her birth.  She has weighed the pros and cons and is willing to risk it all although she is already missing her children badly and is still questioning the decision she made.

I ask why it is only the women who travel to the Middle East to work as maids.  She tells me that women are preferred and prospective employees will pay an agency here about $2,000 per female maid.  If a man wants to go, he must actually pay the agency for his arrangements.  The women are given clothes, air tickets and the household they leave behind a sum of $150 for the first month.  For many of of them, it is a deal they can’t easily refuse. 

She has made up her mind to be in Saudi for 2 years.  She plans to come back briefly to see her family and then spend another 2 years in Kuwait or Dubai working as a cleaner in a hospital.  Kuwait or Dubai she hopes will give her more freedom of movement.  In Saudi Arabia you are not allowed to leave the house you are working in to go down to the shops or get a bit of fresh air.  You are a virtual prisoner in your employer’s house.  She is hopeful that at the end of four years she will have enough money to do the repairs to her house and set up her family for the future.

I see the sadness in her eyes and the fear she feels about the future and wish her well.  I saw many such maids lined up at the check in counter and I wonder at the families they leave behind and what they will come back home to, in two years time.  These women are prepared to brave everything so their families can have a better life.  Many middle class Sri Lankans are possibly unaware of how hard it is for the average person to just get by and what they are prepared to risk for a chance at a better life.  After travelling through South East Asia, I myself was quite surprised at the cost of living in Sri Lanka.  As the plane touches down at Dubai airport I bid my fellow passenger goodbye and hope the risks she has taken will prove worthwhile. 

“In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors”. William Blake

Goodbye Sri Lanka

My time in Sri Lanka comes to an end far too soon.  After more than 12 years I have finally had an opportunity to really explore the land of my birth and visit places I have never been to previously.   It was wonderful and extra special to share this experience with my mom and include my aunts, friends and family in my travels.  My mom actually planned this stage of my journey which was wonderful as I could for once just sit back, relax, not worry about the details and ask…“so where are we going to today?” 

Despite my rushed trip I was however able to catch up with a few friends and most of my family in between my travels.  I have known many of my high school friends since they were about 6 years old.  In Sri Lanka, many schools cater for classes starting from Kindergarten to Grade 12, hence we have a shared history of growing up together. 

Many of these girls have fulfilled their childhood dreams and become lawyers, doctors, bankers, teachers, lecturers/heads of departments, media personalities, politicians, dancers, writers and engineers!  Many are mothers and have children who are growing up together in the same school we attended! 

About half of these girls now live overseas and in a lovely coincidence we have come to Sri Lanka at the same time from places as far away as Sydney, Bogota – Colombia, Bahrain, Nepal, London and Monaco!   While not all these girls were free to come over for dinner, I connected at least by phone with all of them which was lovely.

I was also able to share some time with my friends from the youth fellowship I attended as a teenager.  We too have a wonderful shared history of growing up together and we reminisce about the fun we had during our teenage years making our contribution in the community and partying at each others houses.  We have also shared some of our time overseas together so our shared history is very special.  Our community activities ranged from planting trees (those tall trees that line the road) at our local church to visiting our parishioners at Christmas and entertaining them with our carol singing!   Today those trees stand tall and proud and always remind me of those happy days of my youth.

My mom is still a regular at this church which she has now attended for about 50 years!  She is involved in many activities including being a live wire in the YAH group – that would be the Young at Heart!  This is a group of elderly ladies (and a few brave men) who come together every week for a time of companionship and camaraderie.  This time my mom was keen I did a presentation to the group about our travels in Sri Lanka.  The presentation goes down really well and the ladies are really happy to have been taken on a journey to places in their own country they may never get to visit.

I catch up with Kelvin a visitor to our country from Nigeria who met my mom and started to read my blog before I got to Sri Lanka.  As a fellow traveller he was interested in my journey and  started corresponding via email before I got to Sri Lanka, so it was fun to see him and share stories of our mutual experiences and hear an expats perspective of my birth place. 

My visit to my homeland is also quite productive in terms of my writing!  I’ve been invited by the editor of the Island newspaper to contribute a series on my travels on a regular basis.  My first articles on Cambodia are published in the Island Newspaper on the day of my departure.  It was fun to pick up the Island paper on the plane and see my article on ‘Reflections on Cambodia’, complete with a few photos take up the front page of the Leisure section! 

I am also interviewed by one of our most beloved and well known journalists, Anne Abayasekera, who has been writing since her teenage years!  It is a real privilege to visit her home and talk to her about my life and adventures and I look forward to reading her take on my life when the article is published next week.    

My last days are filled with goodbyes and feasts at my cousins next door who complain they talk to me far more (on Skype) when I am on the road than they do when I am just next door.  They have helped me immensely with all my technical problems and made sure I was able to keep blogging while on the road in Sri Lanka!  We have BBQs and crab curry feasts and desert & coffee on my last night, and I know I will miss them all when I say goodbye.   

My mom comes along to the airport and we say goodbye.  She intends to be in Australia to welcome me back to my second home at the end of this journey so it won’t be too long before I see her again.   Parting is always tinged with sadness but we have once more made such marvellous memories together so we have much to reflect on.  It was inspiring to see how well my mom and my other aunts who are all around the same age tackle the long distances that we travelled.  It means I have at least another 30 years of travel left in me :) !!

And so I hug my mom goodbye and leave my birthplace with a bag full of memories.

“The birthplace of success for each person is in his Inner-Consciousness. The Inner-Consciousness will use whatever it is given. If constructive thoughts are planted positive outcomes will be the result. Plant the seeds of failure and failure will follow.” – Sidney Madwed

Nagadeepa

The road and causeway to Nagadeepa is idyllic.  Vast open spaces of green and stretches of blue water greet me on this journey.  Beautiful aquatic birds are to be seen everywhere and for a moment I wonder if I am in a foreign land!  No one had actually mentioned how beautiful this drive was so I am pleasantly surprised and amazed.  Nagadeepa is the most famous of the islands off the Jaffna peninsular.  The Buddhist believe that Lord Buddha visited this island and hence pilgrims from all over the island consider a visit this temple quite special. 

While in the parking lot for the ferry I meet an enterprising young man.  He is actually a resident of the UK but has come back for his wife’s confinement.  He has visited many European cities and works in a fish and chip shop in London.  He lives in the south but has come up to Jaffna to visit his cousin and make a bit of spare cash selling maps to local travellers! 

There is only one way to get to this island and that is by taking the local ferry!  Well, were we in for an experience.  I was a little mortified when I saw the queue for the ferry but somehow after we had parked our vehicle the crowds had disappeared.  Well, mostly disappeared.Many of them were patiently seated and waiting  for the boat when we got there.

The good news is that life vests are provided.  The bad news is that to keep costs down the ferry is overloaded to about double its capacity.  This means that a boat meant to carry about 40 people, now has more than 80 crammed in!  I keep yelling up at the guys to stop sending any more passengers.  “Just two more lady”, they yell back as ten more passengers are somehow crammed down the hatch.  I am reminded of my days of taking the local public busses but that was on dry land..this is far more scary! 

Getting into the boat is no mean feat as you have to climb down some narrow steps into the bottom deck.  For many older people this is quite a challenge and I was quite nervous about both my mom and aunty Miriam attempting to do this journey! 

We land safely and our first stop is Nage Vihare, the historic Buddhist shrine at the temple where Buddha is reputed to have visited.  All temples on the island were destroyed when the Portuguese colonised Ceylon but have since been rebuilt.

Half the boat empties and the rest are ferried to Nagabooshani Amman Kovil, the other holy shrine here.  

Conventional Sri Lankans have specific colours for every occasions and if you violate this dress code, people can get quite cross at you :) !  There are colours you wear for funerals, colours you wear to the temple and this can vary quite drastically depending on your faith and religious persuasion! 

For example, Buddhist shrines are always white and devotees are always clad in white as well.  The Hindu kovils are in stark contrast to this.  They are colourful vibrant places with lots of noise, incense and colourfully clad women. 

The kovils seem to have lots of adornments and are extremely colourful both inside and out which I find quite fascinating given both these religions have their roots in India. After visits to both shrines it is time to leave.  We have to catch another ferry back but my mom decides that we will charter our own boat back to base. 

Aunty Miriam jokes that perhaps the old ladies could stage an attack of sunstroke and so the local ambulance might take us all back! Our pleas to the Navy also fall on deaf ears… and so we negotiate a price for our own personal ferry.  We are pleasantly surprised that the cost of our own boat is about AUD $15!

I wonder why the authorities can’t double the cost of the ticket (currently $0.2) so less people can be crammed into these boats. What are we willing to pay for the safety of our lives?  We have an enjoyable ride back and I get to ride on the top deck this time!

The trip to Nagadeepa has been truly wonderful.  We decide to try another local favourite for lunch – crab curry!  The curry is hot and spicy but the crab wonderfully fresh!  This experience of Jaffna has been truly eye opening and I am definitely coming back to visit. 

“When it is time to die, let us not discover that we never lived”  Henry David Thoreau

Jaffna – The Far North

Pilgrims from all over the country are making their way to Jaffna!  I was amazed to see how many people were visiting Jaffna to pay homage at the historic temples both on the peninsula and at Nagadeepa, one of the nearby islands. 
Jaffna has a real laid back feel to it.  It is a place where as a result of the war the city has almost been frozen in time.  There are no high rise buildings.  Most people travel by bicycle or motor bike and the bigger vehicles on the road are mostly public transport or commercial vehicles.    I find the city to be very clean.  There is no garbage around and I hope that with the influx of pilgrims to Jaffna it can still remain clean.  There is much to be done so the face of this city does not change with the influx of visitors.
While there is new construction such as roads and bridges happening in the city, basic facilities such
as toilets, guest houses and places to eat are currently quite scarce.  We can’t expect a city that has been at war and not seen visitors for 30 years to be equipped to handle them overnight.  Yet, people in the rest of the country are coming in busloads to visit so I hope the rest of the facilities will follow soon. 
We visit the Naga Vihare temple which was destroyed a few years ago but has now been fully restored.  This temple is relatively new in comparison to those at Nagadeepa but has its fair share of pilgrims. 
There is a steady stream of visitors to the Nallur Temple when we arrive.  This is a very sacred and historic temple in Jaffna and it is believed its origins go back as far as 948 AD.  However, the temple was destroyed during the times of foreign invasion and the current temple dates back to the 18th century and Dutch times.  Most Hindu temples have distinct vertical red and white stripes.  I  don’t think it has any particular significance except to draw the attention of devotees!  Interestingly, all men are expected to remove their shirts and enter the temple bare bodied whereas women are expected to be fully covered!  
The authorities have just changed the dress code for entering this temple in time for the important Hindu festival.  Women will now be expected to wear a toe length dress or saree!  My cousins think there is some correlation between my visit and the change to the dress code, as it happened the day after my return!  I was in long pants when I visited so I don’t believe I was violating the existing regulations :)!!
The Jaffna Fort is a historic structure built during Portuguese times and renovated by the Dutch.  It was occupied by the LTTE during the time they held Jaffna and badly damaged by the war.  I hope this historic place and second largest fort in the country will soon be restored to its former glory.
The destruction of the Jaffna library was a dark day in the history of the conflict in Sri Lanka.  It was one of Asia’s premier lending institutions at the time and dated  back to the 1930s.  The library has been rebuilt but the collection of books that was lost will never be replaced completely. It was quite late when we visited so we did not have time to browse or look around much.  We chatted to the people who worked there who showed us around the rooms that were open and we learnt a little about the day those precious books went up in smoke.
Everyone who had been to Jaffna told us we must not miss Rio’s Ice Cream.  It is an interesting place with bus loads of travellers who have obviously been told the same thing!  There are loads of combinations to choose from and we enjoy sampling another interesting taste of Jaffna although the ice cream is nothing out of the ordinary!
I was keen to make the drive to Point Pedro during this trip.  I remember learning about Point Pedro in school and it seemed fitting to visit the most northern point of Sri Lanka during this visit.  There is an army camp there so you can only observe the lighthouse from a distance. Fishing is very much a way of life here and as you drive along the northern edge of the peninsular drying fish along the roadside is a familiar sight.  We also visited the bottomless well!  I don’t know too much about this well except that it goes all the way to the ocean and people are forbidden to jump in!
This sacred bath set right next to the ocean was quite beautiful.  It is a place where women who are childless are supposed to bathe in so I was surprised to find the baths full of men with not a woman in sight! 







The other interesting place we visited was the spot where Sangamitha landed with a Bo sapling from India.  It was a long drive through a high security zone but worth it to see the spot.  The original ruins have been destroyed in the war and a temple and statue have been recently constructed  at this site.
The Bo tree is quite sacred to Buddhists here and an interesting feature of this tree is that its leaves are the only ones where the veins are found on top rather than at the bottom!
We then visit the ruins at Chunakham the place where Sangamitha (the sister of Mahinda, the person who brought Buddhism to Sri Lanka) and her retinue visited on their arrival from India carrying a sapling of the sacred Bodhi tree.  Unfortunately many of them died after eating the local mushrooms and their relics are buried at this site. The stupas are supposed to be over 2000 years old and thankfully have survived the war.
I am amazed at what I have seen in Jaffna.  It is an interesting city with a very old world feel to it and so much potential for the future.  I have found the people very helpful and welcoming.  Although many of them are only able to converse in Tamil we were fortunate to be travelling with Nawfer our guide who was able to interpret for us. 
Jaffna appears to be a very fertile place and we found healthy crops everywhere we looked.   The town is bustling and trade is brisk but I wonder, in a city where everyone is dark skinned, why are the mannequins white?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in Harmony”.  Mahatma Gandhi"

The Road to Jaffna

After 30 years of conflict most restrictions on travel for local Sri Lankans have been lifted on the road to Jaffna and I can hardly believe it but we are driving on the A9 and headed north!  I am armed with my Sri Lankan ID and my rusty Sinhalese.  I try to shed all traces of my Australian identity as foreigners are still not allowed to make this overland journey!

The road deteriorates as we go further north but signs that construction is about to to begin that involves a massive expansion of this highway are clearly visible.  I am stunned at how wide they intend to construct this road and I wonder if amenities to house the expected traffic from the south will also be constructed at the same time.
We pass areas that are still cordoned off for mine clearing along the way and see men engaged in this risky business.  The jungle which once fringed this road has now been cut right back making the A9 a lot safer to drive.  Still, stepping into the bush for a nature call is probably not advisable!
As we approach Killinochchi, we begin to see the traces of this conflict, which only ceased about a year ago.  Part of the reason we were keen to make this journey before I left was because we realised that in a year or two development will change this landscape completely.   
There is definitely an army presence here and traces of what happened during the last few weeks of the conflict are quite evident.  This is the town which was the administration centre for the LTTE but when they retreated they destroyed some of the key installations such as this water tower.  I find many buildings intact but with their roofs gone.  It is possible these materials have been pilfered by those who have returned and perhaps by the army itself for use in the bunkers that have now sprung up along the road.  
There are huts along the road and signs that people are coming back to live here are evident along our journey.  They live in basic accommodation currently but there are building materials stacked up by the roadside which indicates new construction to house the many who lost their homes will soon begin.  The town of Killinochchi is itself bustling and on the surface life seems to have returned to normal.  

The army have constructed little rest houses along the way. They serve a good cup of tea and fresh roti.  We stop for breaks and while I munch on my roti, I notice the floor is lined with box lids that once housed bullets and the table legs are the bullet boxes themselves!  Recycling takes on a whole new meaning during times of war! There is a monument to Gamini Kularatne, who is now referred to as the ‘Hasalaka Hero’, Hasalaka being a farming hamlet near Kandy where he grew up.  He was part of the forces in 1991 guarding Elephant Pass a strategic point and gateway to the Jaffna Peninsula when he decided to sacrifice his life to save the base.   During 1991, the army were still in control here and whilst engaged in a ferocious battle with the LTTE, this soldier climbed on to an oncoming bulldozer tank and lobbed two grenades inside preventing the army base from being destroyed and the pass taken over.  He paid the ultimate sacrifice that many soldiers are called to do, except this was a calculated decision he made fully understanding the consequences.  Elephant Pass has been a strategic military stronghold since the days when our first colonial masters the Portuguese built a fort there in 1760.   It is a little narrow strip of land that links the peninsula with the mainland.  It is no surprise then that a few key battles were fought here during the war years as well.  Besides the first battle of 1991 there was the second battle of 2000, when the Sri Lankan army lost control of the pass to the LTTE.  When they regained control in early 2009, it signalled the beginning of the end of this 30 year conflict.We pass two monuments that have been erected to commemorate the end of the conflict.  Monuments erected to glorify the end of a civil conflict can cause further resentment in a country that is looking to build bridges and mend fences.  Perhaps they could be built with a sensitivity to the lives lost on both sides but I don’t believe that is the intention of these monuments.After almost 12 hours of travelling we finally approach Jaffna.  I am excited to be here in this city I had often wondered about but I have few preconceived notions of what I might expect.  We are tired and hungry and turn into a new restaurant for a ‘Taste of Jaffna’!  Soon, it will be time to explore and go meet the people of the north.

We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers. – Martin Luther King, Jr.